


ten

by VenusGuided



Category: Silent Trilogy - Sues Cummings
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Other, but i don't want it in that tag rn, it's also a captive prince crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:57:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7991056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenusGuided/pseuds/VenusGuided
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arez wrote a musical adaption of some video game called Final Fantasy X. Their English/Drama teacher asked Lao to get involved in the production, so Lao does. Life is pretty horrible all around them but at least they have a cheesy play to distract them and give them hope, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	ten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RadiantFinality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadiantFinality/gifts).



> based on the requests, this was obviously meant to be a silly crack fic. instead i give you 42 pages exploring trauma resulting from various forms of child abuse (including: CSA, physical abuse, emotional abuse) using a musical production of FFX as a catalyst, and barely any captive prince characters :') but honestly the moments of laurent & damen are SO GOOD for these silent trilogy kids. anyway that's the reason for the rating & warnings
> 
> also it's some kind of high school AU where the australian civil war never happened, humans know dainisa exist, and captive prince characters are there too. so i'm not sure how familiar with either/both canons you need to be to follow this, it's basically self-indulgent af;;

Lao stared at the script, frowning, and asked, “Is it X or ten? How can there be ten final of anything?”

“Don’t try to be  _ smart _ , Lousy, it’s beyond you,” Arez sniffed. “It’s fantasy so anything  _ goes.” _

Lao looked up at the teacher and asked, “Can I go?”

Their teacher, Laurent (an Eastman, tragically, and one who knew Lao well enough to recognise his sense of humour) replied, “If you want. Though I think you’re more than capable enough for this.”

Lao moved to leave anyway. Arez cried, grabbing Lao’s arm as he shouted, “No! You can’t leave!”

“Don’t grab him,” Laurent said.

Arez let go. “Sorry, okay, but --”

“But what? ‘Don’t do anything but what I want’?”

“I was kidding anyway,” Lao said, sitting down. “Mostly? I don’t understand why I’m being cast as the lead in a musical when he’s a literal siren.”

“I don’t wanna be in it,” Arez said. “I wrote it. The music. Not the script. That was Crow.”

“ _ Crow _ ? As in my  _ brother _ ?”

“I was surprised too,” Laurent said.

“I’m not surprised he wrote something, I’m just --” Lao shook his head. “And you cowrote it?”

“The  _ music _ ,” Arez insisted. “Not even the lyrics. Nova did that.”

“Actually,” Laurent said, “I’m pretty sure Nova wrote most of the script, too. The quality of it is a bit beyond my cousin.”

Lao cried, “ _ Nova’s _ in on this too now? How did I not know about this until now?!”

Arez haughtily replied, “You could try  _ listening _ , Yamaguchi-kun.”

Lao opened his mouth to tell him to fuck off and never patronise him with his heritage ever again under pain of broken limbs, but stopped when he glanced at Laurent remembering, oh yeah, teacher is here. Instead he forced a smile and said, generally, “I’m not sure why you’ve eraneously --”

“Erroneously.”

“-- cast me as the lead in a musical without, asking me or holding auditions, but, I’m guessing there’s a good reason?”

“I always have good reasons,” Arez said.

“ _ You _ don’t,” Lao replied, “but some people do.”

Arez narrowed his eyes suspiciously, peering cautiously at Laurent as though he knows what subtlety is.

“It’s just a school play,” Laurent said, “what could happen?”

***

Lao had been chosen for his ‘influence’.

So, basically, being a princess had once again landed Lao in a role he didn’t want. This time more literally than usual. The character was called Yuna and she was basically Jesus.

“Are you sure you don’t want to play the Jesus?” Lao asked Arez as they walked away from the classroom.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

He actually didn’t, Lao realised. Arez had once thrown a Christmas present back in Lao’s face shouting about how he wasn’t allowed to participate in ‘religious bullshit’, but Lao had assumed it was a reaction to being given  _ Twilight _ . Lao had figured Arez had also felt pressured to find out more about Christianity after meeting Kez and realising angels and demons are very much real, but apparently not.

“So, remind me,” Arez started, and Lao really hoped this was going to be a simple, focused question. “He’s like, Crow’s cousin, but not your cousin? But Crow is your brother?”

“Crow isn’t my biological brother,” Lao said for probably the millionth time. “He’s white. I’m not. You might’ve noticed?”

“Yeah, I know, I mean! Isn’t that confusing?”

“Not really.”

Arez huffed. “Well! Maybe if you actually  _ thought _ .”

“Maybe if you actually bothered to remember.” Lao flicked through the script, mostly to emphasise his desire to change the topic before Arez got upset. He always got upset talking about families. “I dunno how I’m gonna remember all this.”

“If you can remember all this stuff about your stupid magic royal families then you can remember some lines.” Well. Not everyone wanted to be distracted all the time.

“Being raised a princess kind of means I don’t have a choice,” Lao reminded him. It was a habit. He shouldn’t’ve said it, because the natural implication was: ‘if you hadn’t been taken away from your biological family you’d know all this too’. And Lao knew Arez hated his adoptive father so much he’d convinced himself he’d’ve been happier with his biological family, despite all evidence that actually, uh, no, they’re horrible people too and you deserve better than all of them.

Not that Lao could say any of that. There was too much risk of upsetting Arez.

“You’re gonna have to help me learn the songs,” Lao said, maybe a bit too loudly.

Arez was avoiding looking at him. “You can sing fine. The princess thing. Must enable it.”

“Siren-y aside, you’re a musical prodigy.”

“No, I’m a musical prodigy cos I’m a siren.”

“Magic doesn’t work like that,” Lao dismissed. “Just coach me a bit? I don’t want to do a bad job.”

Arez sighed. “Because you couldn’t stand to let  _ Mr Eastman _ down.”

Lao winced. “Don’t -- don’t call him that, and, no, I don’t wanna let my brothers down, I don’t care what --”

“It’s the cheekbones, isn’t it?” Arez interrupted. “Or maybe you’re into other blondes? What would Luna call that, blonde-cest?”

“I don’t fucking know, I don’t fucking care, fucking shut up!”

“Hell of a time to be using that word,  _ princess _ , it’s downright Freudian, you could say.”

“I wouldn’t ever say that, I’m not a pretentious asshole who believes in science, and, you know he used to babysit me, right? You creep, that’s creepy, it’s not like that and -- hey! You’re just trying to distract me, aren’t you?!”

“I would never ever do anything dishonest like that!” Arez cried. “It’s so close to lying and I don’t lie, I’m just genuinely interested in this, obviously, how dare you accuse me of --”

Lao interrupted, “If you don’t want to do it, just say so. Sorry if I was being pushy, it just, means a lot to me, cos my brothers and you wrote it.”

Sometimes it was hard to tell, but Arez was definitely blushing.

“I’ll think about it,” he mumbled.

Lao turned around, walking backwards so he could try to look Arez in the eye and say, “You realise you’ve participated in the creation of a heterosexual love story, right?”

“No!” Arez cried. “Cos if you’re playing whatever her name is, she’s not a girl, she’s a nothing, so therefore it  _ can’t _ be heterosexual, boy plus nothing equals boy!”

“Sorry, my lack of gender doesn’t translate to characters I play.”

Arez screamed.

If he hadn’t been laughing at Arez’s suffering, Lao wouldn’t’ve walked into one of the history teachers. It was what he deserved, really; spluttering apologies, being dragged away by (aka being  _ touched by _ ) Arez, and hoping their damn teacher hadn’t heard them talking about how hot their other teacher,  _ his husband _ , was. Arez talked so loudly! Even when he didn’t mean to! He said something about it counteracting all the noise in his mind, which was there because he was a genius, or whatever. Lao thought he was honestly just too lazy to pay attention to his own actions.

“Fine, I’ll help you,” Arez grumbled as he dragged Lao down the stairs. What had happened to his mood? He seemed genuinely angry now. “You gotta recruit people, though. That’s why it’s gotta be you.”

“I knew I’d have to do that anyway,” Lao reassured him. “When’re you gonna coach me?”

Arez whined loudly. “I don’t know! Bye!”

As Arez stormed off, Lao wondered again, what had ruined the mood? He’d rather go back to feeling humiliated than being confused by Arez. Maybe seeing Damianos (a pseudo-Jalanis, a Galanis, go figure) had made the family talk too real?

***

Lao's first point of recruitment was the third-floor bathroom gendered ‘male’. Even before he went in, Lao could smell tobacco. So Nicaise was definitely there.

“Hey,” Lao said as he went in.

“Genderless whatevers aren't meant to be in the men’s room,  _ princess _ ,” Nicaise said.

There was nothing to do but ignore that. Once Lao had been fourteen and edgy as all hell, too. Speaking of: Candy Rivera was leaning against a basin, carefully trying to wing his eyeliner in a pathetic copy of Nicaise’s ever-flawless #look.

“Don't talk to me yet Lao,” Candy said, “I can do this.”

“You're holding the pencil wrong,” Nicaise said.

“I’m doing it  _ my _ way, that's what goth is all about!”

“Then stop asking for my help, shit-fucker.”

Pleasant. Lao watched as Candy struggled. Nicaise watched him and asked, “Did Laurent send you or something?”

“Indirectly,” Lao replied. “There's gonna be a musical and I know Candy’ll be interested.”

Apparently interested enough to throw down the eye pencil and shout, “Seriously?! Finally!”

Nicaise laughed, “ _ Laurent _ is directing that?”

Lao nodded. “My brothers and Arez Smythe wrote it.”

Candy whined, “Don’t ruin it!”

“It’s based on some video game.  _ Final Fantasy _ , something. Ex? Ten?”

“Okay, that’s perfect,” Candy said. “This is exactly what I need to break through from modelling and launch my acting and singing careers.”

“Laurent directing a musical written by  _ Arez Smythe _ and  _ Crow Hotfire _ about some piece of shit weeb video game,” Nicaise said, like it was some precious gift from God himself. “I don’t know what he’s trying to do but it’s going to be  _ hilarious _ when it fails.”

“I think he’s trying to encourage Arez’s creative side,” Lao said.

Nicaise laughed. “Oh, yeah, right. I know a brain isn’t a necessity in your line of work, Princess, but you should at least give the illusion of having one.”

“Hey, shut up,” Candy said. “Oh, oh, Lao, who else can I tell?”

“Anyone?” Lao guessed.

“Kris?”

Lao faltered. “Uh. If you really think he’d be interested?”

“He won’t, but it’ll be good for him,” Candy insisted. “He can like, do sets or something?”

“Stand around moping about his daddy fucking him, probably,” Nicaise sneered.

“Shut  _ up _ ,” Candy said.

“Maybe  _ Kris _ should,” Nicaise said. “Like, get over it already.”

“You can’t just get over something like that,” Lao said.

“Speaking from experience there, Princess?”

Lao’s mouth felt dry. “Not the point?”

“At least he’s talking about it ’cos he wants to,” Candy said. “And like. Not cos of the trial. Or the media.”

“Whatever. The musical’s too funny, at least.” Nicaise flicked his cigarette into the sink. “There’s so much I have to do with this information.” That was as close as a goodbye as they got before he walked off.

Lao waited a few moments before he asked, “So are you like, friends, or?”

Candy snorted. “Yeah, but he thinks he’s too good for that.”

“Sounds about right,” Lao said. “Be careful, okay?”

Candy rolled his eyes. “La-La, don’t patronise me!”

“Okay, sorry, just, you know.” Candy probably didn’t know, but Lao didn’t think it was acceptable to say ‘How close we were years ago makes me feel like you’re my younger sibling’.

“About the musical,” Lao said quickly, “tell whoever you want. It’s probably going to need a big cast.”

“I gotta fix my eyeliner first,” Candy replied. “I’m a teen model, I have a reputation to maintain.”

Candy would often throw that ‘I’m a teen model’ out there. It was probably awful to actually have ambitions while being jyji. 

Next Lao had to make a swing by the soccer team, maybe even the cricket team. Cricket was a stupid sport even to someone who didn’t think quidditch was that bad. Luna played cricket on the boy’s team, because there weren’t anything so American high school movie as cheerleaders and she had to do something non-conformist to compensate. Lao figured she’d talk to the team for him, and that he didn’t want to know anything Luna would say to persuade them. Also that he didn’t want to talk to that many drooling white boys. Dean Moretti, captain of the soccer team, would be close enough to that.

“Hey Lao,” Dean said as Lao approached. “Here to bless us?”

Lao said, “Remember what I did to you last time you tried a line like that?”

“Yeah I do,” Dean said, high-fiving the nearest team mate.

“Fuckin’ sweet as, bro,” the other one said.

“He ended up in the  _ hospital _ ,” Lao muttered.

This was why Lao didn’t understand Candy, let alone Nicaise: being edgy as all fuck didn’t get you anywhere. When he was fourteen, he broke a table with Dean, and everybody acted like it was a kink. Repulsive.

Lao grabbed Dean by the arm, dragging him away. He was stopped by the coach, one of the phys-ed teachers, Jord Guttorm. Human.

“Hey, we’re in the middle of practice,” he said.

“This won’t take long, I swear,” Lao replied. “It’s urgent though.”

Jord was so nice he actually bought it. It made Lao feel bad.

“So, what’s up, Princess?” Dean asked, grinning like he was about to get laid.

“Uh, no,” Lao scoffed. “So, there’s going to be a school play. And if you get involved as an alpha-jock, beta-jocks are more likely to follow.”

“Wow, that’s so flattering,” Dean said, actually sarcastically. “I think I’m busy enough, actually.”

“Well, I don’t know how much time it’d take up,” Lao admitted. “But the lead is a professional sports star so you’d actually be pretty convincing. If you got it.”

Dean frowned. “I mean…”

“Come on, there’s only three weeks left in this season,” Lao said. “I’m sure your little brother’ll be there too, since Candy’s into it, and Ace --”

“Is into whatever Candy is, I know,” Dean sighed. “You’re getting pretty manipulative, Princess.”

“I am not,” Lao said. “So you gonna do what I say?”

Dean replied, “Get your agent to email mine the script, I’ll see if I’m interested.”

“Okay. You should get back to practice before I feel too guilty about picking on Jord.”

Dean didn’t go, though. He leant closer and quietly asked, “Is Candy gonna drag Kris along, too?”

“That’s the plan,” Lao sighed.

“Good,” Dean said. “I haven’t seen him for like. Ever. He’s become such a shut-in.”

Lao kindly didn’t say,  _ And he also hates you for hitting on him  at completely the wrong time, you insensitive jackoff _ .

“We’ll see what happens,” Lao said. “Thanks for considering it. Even with all the teasing.”

Dean replied, “Well, it’s not every day the babe who indulged your table-breaking kink asks for a favour.”

“I wasn’t indulging anything except my anger at being called a demon.”

“I was calling you an angel.”

“That’s equally as insulting, human.”

Dean’s grin returned. Creepy. “Later, Lao.”

He jogged back over to the team. Lao watched for a moment before heading back to the school.

Technically, his next target should be the geeks. Lao didn’t do well with geeks, though. Well, okay, the literary club was fine, until they tried to tell him Lovecraft’s crappy Horror stories were worth the actual horror of his racism. The video gamers were out for obvious reasons, and Lao had honestly looked into restraining orders against all members of the anime club. He was out of time, anyway: he had to go see the school councillor.

Lao had been seeing the school therapist every week for the past year. Crow had been adamant he needed some kind of therapy, Lao had been adamant that he did not. Nova suggested the school therapist as some kind of middle-ground: not powerful enough to actually diagnose Lao (like he was scared of), yet knowledgeable to make it more than just Lao senselessly venting his feelings, and still under a confidentiality agreement. Lao had hated it for six months but now it wasn’t so bad. The therapist was nice. He didn’t make Lao talk about anything, not even what had been the breaking point to make him admit he needed therapy. Lao had enough issues to keep the topic away from that.

As Lao opened the door, Luci looked up with a smile. “Hey, Princess. Right on time as always.”

Lao let the door shut behind him.

***

Dinner that night was a little awkward. Lao was waiting for the right moment to interrogate Nova and Crow about how they apparently helped Arez write an entire musical. Crow was talking angrily about some guy called Gabriel (again), Carmen was implying they were gay for each other, Crow said he was dating Remy sort of okay not really but kinda (until he confused himself and had to take a break to text Remy ‘Babe are we dating?’ to which Remy replied ‘lmfao gross’ and Crow had to lie on the ground for a little bit), Nova was ignoring them all to read his history textbook for the fiftieth time.

Okay, dinner was pretty normal, but normal felt weird in a world where Lao was helping a musical happen.

After Carmen got bored and wandered off, Lao had his chance.

“Did you really cowrite a musical with Arez, Nii-chan?” he asked Crow.

“Barely,” Crow snorted.

Nova looked up and said, “I did. Some weird game he likes even though it’s straight as fuck.”

“Laurent said it was probably you,” Lao said.

“It was mostly Aré,” Nova insisted.

Nova was prone to giving other people all the credit, but maybe not this time. He didn’t look guilty, he looked proud. Obviously Lao cared about Arez a lot (probably more than he should) but Nova looked at Arez and saw pure potential, and he had a certain way of drawing it out.

“Urgh, I can’t believe my stupid cousin’s your teacher,” Crow sighed. “Why would you actually become a high school teacher when you’ve got other life options?”

“He's good at it,” Lao said. “Maybe he figured it was about time an Eastman gave back to society after taking so much away.”

Usually his brothers laughed at that kind of grim humour. That time, they exchanged looks, and Nova asked, “Why are we talking about this?”

“We’re doing the musical,” Lao said. “Laurent’s directing.”

“Ha!” Crow cried.

“I dunno why people keep thinking that’s funny,” Lao muttered.

“The whole thing is funny,” Crow assured him. “From the, what, three hour adaptation of a thirty hour game, to Arez fuckin’ Smythe, to high school, to Laurent.”

“ _ I _ think it’s gonna be good,” Lao said.

“Youthful optimism,” Crow sighed.

Lao sighed back, “Go fuck a Gabriel.”

“Hey! Shut up!”

***

The auditions weren’t as much of a sham as Lao had expected. Apparently Laurent did not have a detailed cunning plan of who was going to play who. Or maybe that was just what he wanted Lao to think. Maybe he was forcing the situation so sneakily Lao couldn’t even figure out how the manipulation was occurring. That was entirely possible.

It was especially possible because Kez was there, and Lao tended to get a little light-headed when Kez was around. He kept staring at Kez instead of paying attention, Luna kept catching him and teasing, and Lao just didn’t learn.

At any rate, Lao quickly realised he was actually good enough to be auto-cast. He’d still have to work extra hard to prove it wasn’t just the princess thing, but he was glad to realise he had some natural talent to work off. And it was fun once he got over the embarrassment of line-reading.

The weirdest thing was Athena being there. She walked in with Arez, looking exceptionally uncomfortable. But she was still there.

“Are you auditioning?” Lao asked her.

“Uh, I guess,” Athena said, glancing at Arez.

“No,” Arez said, “you can’t sing. You can’t even sing  _ Hey Diddle Diddle _ .”

“I want to be on the crew,” Athena amended. “I’m just, so interested in theatre stuff.”

Arez rolled his eyes and muttered, “I don’t know where you get the right to force me to do stuff.”

“I’m being supportive,” Athena insisted. “And Dad won’t mind if it’s --”

“Shut UP.”

Lao couldn’t avoid asking, “Arez, are you not auditioning because your father doesn’t want you to?”

“Of course not!” Arez cried. “Him, tell me what to do?! Ha! I’m Arez Smythe! With a silent ‘e’! The siren! Prodigy of magic and science and music! A genius! He’d never tell me what to do! Nobody can! I’m a rebel, baby,  _ ew not that you’re a baby or I still have a crush on you, no homo Lao, no homo _ , and nobody can control me.”

The whole time Arez ranted Athena nodded, just out of his vision.

Lao dryly said, “If nobody can control you, how is your sister making you be here?”

Arez said, “Pity. I’m pity obeying.”

“Right. Of course you are.”

Apparently that was pushing Arez too far. He narrowed his eyes then shouted: “HEY COOPER!”

“You moonlight sonuvadick,” Lao groaned.

Kez looked over in disinterest, which became interest when he saw Lao there. Lao’s head became fuzzier the closer Kez got. He should’ve bolted but he couldn't. He wanted to see Kez. He wanted to talk to him like normal.

“What do you want Arez,” Kez casually said.

“I wanna know what you're doing auditioning for my play!” Arez cried.

Kez looked at Lao. “Luna told me to.”

Lao’s face felt hot. “Uh. Hi.”

“Hi,” Kez replied. “You tired from all the singing?”

Lao shook his head. “It's uh, it's just, hot in here.”

Athena snorted.

Lao’s face felt even hotter. “Who’re you auditioning for?”

“Dunno, really,” Kez replied. “Kimahri’d be easy but I don't wanna take that away from a furry.” He inclined his head towards Arez.

Lao laughed.

“HEY!” Arez shouted, catching on. “JUST BECAUSE I BRIEFLY, VERY BRIEFLY I’LL ADD, CONSIDERED CALLING MYSELF OOKAMI DOES NOT MAKE ME A FURRY!”

Laurent called, “That's wonderful, Arez. Now try to keep yourself from yelling.”

Arez fumed. He glared up at Kez and demanded, “ _ What _ are you auditioning for!”

“Hm, I dunno,” Kez said, eyes still on Lao. And Lao was still looking straight back. He couldn’t look away. But his stomach was knotted. “You’re playing Yuna, right Lao?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

Kez said, “Then I’d better go for Tidus.”

That got Lao looking away.

“You’ve played the game then?” Athena asked, mercifully, what a wonderful person.

“Yeah, ages ago.”

Athena sighed, “Arez tried to play it but he couldn’t get past Operation Mi’ihen.” 

“Because I didn’t  _ want _ to,” Arez said.

“Wow, I’d hope so, it’s piss-easy,” Kez said.

Athena continued, “So he was there clinging to me, watching me play it, and he cried. Didn’t you, little brother?”

“I didn’t cry!”

“He cried so much,” Athena said. “And he cried again when I replayed it so he could write the script.”

“Nothing of the sort happened!” Arez shouted. He grabbed Kez’s arm. “You! Cooper! My eternal rival! Get in line, we’re auditioning!”

“Uh, okay,” Kez said. As he was dragged off he said, “See you later Lao?”

Like it was possible they wouldn’t. So he knew Lao was avoiding him, at least.

“Yeah,” Lao said, “later, Kez.”

Athena said, “I don’t know why you make life more difficult for yourself, Princess.”

“Life makes itself difficult for me,” Lao replied.

“And you wonder why people call you emo.”

Lao went to watch, not because he was sulking, but because it was the mature thing to do. He knew what was going to happen before it did.

Arez hadn’t calmed down by the time it was his turn. He stormed onto the stage, tossed back his hair, and immediately snapped into character when prompted. And it was entrancing. They were such stupid lines but they didn’t sound stupid when Arez said them. 

“And  _ now _ ,” Arez said, pulling the microphone from its stand, “I’m gonna sing, and if anybody cries, it’s not my fault.  _ Patrick _ .”

“Dude, it was  _ one time _ !”

Arez went to the piano and said to the music teacher (Lao didn’t take music, he should know their name but he didn’t), “I can do it.”

And they eagerly vacated! Arez didn’t even play piano, did he? What did Arez  _ do _ in music class? Actual effort?

Arez’s playing made it pretty apparent that he did, actually, play the piano. He often referred to siren magic as cheating; Lao knew he instinctively could recreate sounds, but that didn’t necessarily translate to playing an instrument with any skill.

That wasn’t the point. The point was that Arez was really good. He moved on to playing one-handed as he brought the microphone to his mouth and sang, “ _ I know that you’re hiding things, using gentle words to shelter me _ …”

Patrick started crying. Again.

It wasn’t even a particularly good song. Lao didn’t know much about music but he knew that much. It was nowhere near as interesting as anything he’d heard Arez writing. But  _ Arez _ performing it made it good.

Lao wondered how many times in his life Arez had been the necessary ingredient to make something good.

It took Athena shaking him before Lao realised Laurent was calling his name.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, “what is it? Scene?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Lao replied, heading to the stage. Arez left the piano as Lao climbed the stairs, replacing the microphone in the stand. “Which scene?”

“ _ The _ scene.”

Lao felt faint. “Uh. If you’re sure?”

Arez apparently understood, because he opened the script to the right page.

Lao drew in a deep breath, trying to slip into the moment, as he recited, “‘It’s embarrassing to say this myself, but summoners and their guardians are kind of like Spira’s ray of light. A lot of people in Spira depend on us. I learned to practice smiling when I’m feeling sad, you know?’”

“Hm,” said Arez.

“‘I know it’s hard’.”

“‘I understand. I think.’”

“‘Right, now, let’s see what you can do! Smile!’”

Arez forced a smile. “‘This… is weird.’”

“‘Next, try laughing out loud’.”

Arez drew a deep breath and uncomfortably shrieked, “HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!”

And that was why it was  _ the _ scene.

It wasn’t  _ good _ when they did it, but it felt right. It finally made sense to Lao. They could make it good. As painful as it was to admit, they had enough chemistry and talent between them to do that.

Patrick was still crying.

“I think that’s enough Arez,” Laurent said, “thank you.”

Arez walked from the stage carefully, sliding up to Kez.

“Beat  _ that _ , Cooper,” he hissed.

Again, Lao knew exactly what was going to happen. He slipped into the wings to hide his face.

Kez walked up onto the stage, to the microphone. He said, “Listen to my story,” in a flat deadpan, “this may be our last chance.”

Silence.

“HA! THAT SUCKED!” Arez shouted.

It was so predictable. How did Arez not see it coming?

“Oh well,” Kez said, jumping from the stage without even being asked. “Guess my soul wasn’t in it.”

“At least you tried,” Laurent said,  _ obviously _ aware Kez had done nothing of the sort.

Lao meant to slip down and interrogate Kez about why he wanted Arez to be in the play so badly, but he accidentally tripped over Kris.

“Shit, shit, sorry,” Lao groaned. “You right?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s nothing,” Kris replied. “Fall for me often, Princess?”

Lao replied, “Remember when I put Dean Moretti in the hospital for a line like that.”

Kris grinned. “It was one of the best moments of my life.”

And sadly, it probably was.

Lao collected himself so he was sitting properly beside Kris. “So, are you actually auditioning? Or just hiding while Candy is trying to out-edge Nicaise?”

“Hiding,” Kris replied. “I think I’ve had enough of the spotlight.”

It took everything in Lao to keep himself from wincing or apologising. Kris had said very clearly he hated the pity, he hated having to watch what he said, and Lao understood, but not enough to stop apparently.

“Maybe you should,” Lao said. “I mean. It’s already obviously a joke.”

“I think Arez just raised the bar, actually.”

“He’s not gonna do it.”

Kris shrugged. “I promised Candy I’d help with costumes. He said his brother’s interested.”

Lao frowned. “Don’t go anywhere near Nick.”

Kris rolled his eyes. “Yeah, he’s only seven years older than me, bit under my record.”

“I’m not kidding, he’s weird, and he doesn’t have any issues casually using magic all the time to get what he wants, and his magic messes with people’s brains,” Lao persisted. “We had the same teacher when we were kids. One of them. Leon Eastman.”

“Is that the paedo one?” Kris asked.

“No, he’s, uh, creepy but not. That was…” The name died in his throat. Lao couldn’t even get it to enter his mind. “Uh. How d’ya know about that?”

“Kez told me.”

Lao nodded, because his brain still wasn’t working again yet. “That’s. Yeah. It, it shouldn’t’ve been covered up, but, he was killed, so.”

Kris’ answer was pretty unexpected: “I’m glad Dad isn’t dead. Because now everybody knows he’s complete scum.”

Lao thought a lot of things like: it doesn’t usually happen that way, usually they’d keep your dad’s name a secret to keep your identity a secret, you were just, all in the media all the time because your dad’s famous and you accused him on live TV and the judge was an idiot. But Kris was bound to know that. Who was Lao to patronise him?

Kris continued, “That’d be fuckin’ awful, if he died and people didn’t know, so they kept telling me how  _ good _ they thought he was. But they’ll probably do that anyway, go on about what a  _ great _ writer he was despite raping his son for nine years.”

“I don’t know,” Lao replied. “I’m not really comfortable talking about this.”

Kris snorted. “Yeah, easy for you to say.”

Lao drew in a deep breath and slowly said, “It wasn’t fair how the media treated you during the trial. It’s not fair that so many people don’t care because your dad’s an ‘artist’. It’s not fair that he wasn’t sentenced for longer. It’s not fair that it happened to you  _ at all _ . I know, Kris. And I also know it’s not fair for you to get angry at me for being uncomfortable talking about it, we’re in  _ school _ , I could get called back on stage any moment, and  _ you _ don’t know what  _ I’ve _ been through. Thanks for assuming, though.”

He couldn’t look at Kris. His head and heart were both pounding too much. He stumbled to his feet, through the wings, to the bathroom, and locked himself in.

How pathetic. To say too much out of spite and anger, not anything noble.

It didn’t take long to regain his composure. It was easy to slip back out, half-heartedly acknowledge whoever called to him, and go stand by Luna.

“Hey Princess,” she said. “You look pale.”

“I’m just tired,” Lao lied. “You got any water?”

Luna handed him a bottle from her bag. “The calibre of talent here sure is something, huh?”

Lao shrugged, taking a swing of water.

“Though if Candy gets to play the goth chick just because he’s going through a mid-life crisis I’ll be pissed,” Luna said.

Lao handed her back the bottle. “He’s not going to die at twenty-eight.”

“Sure he is, if he keeps clinging to Nicaise like that.”

All Lao really knew about Nicaise was that he was the perfect source of cigarettes whenever Crow or Nova found Lao’s stash and threw it out. Not that Lao smoked much.

“We’ll just have to see,” Lao said.

Luna wrapped an arm around Lao’s shoulders, squeezing him tightly. Lao leant against her, grateful for the silence.

***

The cast list was posted the next day.

TIDUS →  AREZ SMYTHE  
YUNA →  LAO YAMAGUCHI  
AURON →  DEAN MORETTI  
RIKKU →  CANDY RIVERA  
LULU  →  LUNA KING  
KIMAHRI →  CHARLES GARFORTE  
WAKKA →  JON KOISHI  
SEYMOUR GUADO →  SETH MORGAN  
CID →  KAL BOWDEN  
JECHT →  PATRICK HATHAWAY  
YUNALESCA →  LOKI GINSBERG

Nothing unexpected. There were others too, bit parts, that Lao didn’t have to worry about. Most of what he had to worry about was Arez seeing the list, screaming “WHAT” and running off to shout at Laurent.

After casting invisibility over himself, Lao followed. He liked Laurent, he was a good teacher, and probably wouldn’t be as good a teacher if he were deaf. Actually, he’d probably find a way, but Lao  _ was _ really curious to eavesdrop.

Arez burst in shouting, “Why did you cast me as the protagonist?!” 

Laurent smoothly replied, “You auditioned. You were all-round the most capable and talented, so I cast you. Do you want to pull out?”

“YES!”

“All right then.”

Arez stared. “Is that it?”

“I’m not going to force you,” Laurent replied.

“Are you disappointed?”

Lao knew Arez was desperate for compliments 24/7, but he didn’t realise how desperately Arez could fish for them.

“That’s not the matter at hand.”

Arez went for another approach. “Who’s gonna replace me? Are they good enough?”

“I’ll have to think about it,” Laurent replied, “but we’ll manage. You’re not doing it if you don’t want to, nobody’s going to make you.”

Arez asked, “You’re  _ really _ not going to force me to do it?”

“Of course not.”

Arez seemed to be mentally kicking his own ass. “Fine! I’ll do it! Just because there's nobody else good enough.”

“What a fast change of heart,” Laurent said.

Arez cried, “Yeah, well, I wanted to all along, you got me you mastermind, I was just trying to be cute and tsundere!”

It took every ounce of Lao’s strength to not gag.

“I still have to check that you actually want to and don’t feel pressured into doing it,” Laurent said.

Arez groaned. “I wanna do it. The whole time I wrote it I was wanting to do it. Don’t make me admit it again.”

“All right,” Laurent said.

Arez blurted, “Don’t tell my parents. I want it to be a surprise.”

“It’s not really standard school policy to contact parents to tell them about extracurricular activities.”

“Just, making sure,” Arez said. “Bye then!”

“See you at rehearsals.”

Lao slipped out just before Arez.

***

Luci said, “Congratulations on getting the lead in the school play. You must be excited.”

“Yeah,” Lao said.

“I didn’t know you were interested in drama.”

Lao shrugged. “I guess my life is dramatic enough to give me a knack for it.”

Luci said, “Oh, no, don’t talk about it like that. You must be proud of yourself, for getting it.”

“I didn’t get it because of talent,” Lao explained. “I got it because of who I am.”

“Does that make you angry?” Luci asked.

Lao shook his head. “I can’t just stop being their princess whenever I do something. And, I became their princess through merit of my magical powers, and… that’s fine. That’s enough. I don’t need any other ego boost.”

“Really,” Luci said.

Lao looked away. “I’ll do my best to prove I deserve it anyway. My title only gets me so far.”

Luci looked at him levelly. His eyes were gleaming with something. Respect? Admiration? Affection? And then he said, “What a mature outlook, Lao.”

Lao bit his lip before he said, ‘I’m fifteen, not an idiot’ because it was only half true. For a second though, Luci made him believe otherwise. That was pretty admirable.

***

“‘Hey, look, don’t get so down’,” Jon read directly from the script, frowning and not even anywhere near his mark or sightline. “‘Boom! Like happy festival fireworks, ya?’”

Candy, off script but exceptionally in character, shouted “FUCK YOU!” and tackled Jon.

It took Laurent and Patrick several tries to drag Candy off. Jon, predictably, started whining.

“Why would he say that?! I don’t understand my character motivation!”

“Racism,” Dean supplied. “Species-ism? Hey, Arez, are these Al Bhed people a race or a species?”

“I don’t know, whatever,” Arez huffed.

“Can’t we cut the line? I feel personally attacked by having to say it,” Jon whined.

“I think that’s worth considering,” Laurent said, “the point is made clear elsewhere.”

Arez, however, was staring at his nails in a way that screamed ‘I’m trying to be edgy’. “Hmm. No. I think it has to stay.”

Jon cried, “He’s just saying that to personally attack me!”

“It’s about art! Nothing personal, you whiny bitch.”

“I think that’s enough from you for today, Arez,” Laurent said. “And if you’re going to talk to your classmates like that, you can leave this production entirely.”

“It’s an inside joke, though! And it’s funny because it’s true, Jon the Whiny Bitch is a whiny bitch, it’s just a fact that’s true!”

“It is not true!” Jon cried.

Patrick muttered, “...it’s a little true.”

“WILL YOU STOP BETRAYING ME?!”

Laurent clearly cut across the drama without even raising his voice. “You can come back tomorrow, Arez.”

Arez huffed, threw his hair dramatically back, grabbed his bag from beside Lao and stormed off as loudly as possible.

Not for the first time, Lao thought Laurent would’ve been a better choice for heir. 

But then he stopped thinking to focus on embroidering the obi for his costume. His character wasn’t in the scene, so mostly, he was watching. They were all embarrassed to be involved. If the play was bad, they’d be the ones laughed at. Lao didn’t think being laughed at for putting on a bad play was that horrible in the scheme of things. And he didn’t think it would be bad. Not if they all got over themselves enough to try.

Arez was definitely going to be a trial in that regard.

“We’ll try again without Arez,” Laurent said, “I’ll read for him.”

Lao hadn’t had a lot of contact with other people growing up. He was the minathia’s precious princess, and so he was only allowed to interact with other jyji. At first that meant being locked up in his mother’s place in Yamakita, but then Leon Eastman took him away to England. And it meant being locked up in various Eastman estates around Europe.

But at least Crow was always there. And Nova. Nova wasn’t jyji, but Lao saw a kindred spirit and clung to it until everybody indulged him, acknowledging Nova as his brother.

He hadn’t seen many people other than Nova, Crow, Carmen, the latter two’s parents, and Leon. Sometimes Leon brought other jyji pupils, like Candy, Nick, Eleos. But after that, Lao spent the most time around Laurent, Auguste, and their uncle.

When he was a little kid hanging around that Eastman estate, Lao would watch how effortlessly regal (in the  _ good _ ways) Laurent was and try to copy. He never managed it for long.

It was always weird to him that Laurent would follow his brother Auguste around with the same hero-worship in his eyes. It wasn't like how Lao looked at his brothers. Maybe because they weren’t made of the same flesh and blood: Nova and Crow didn’t even have the same skin colour as him. They were brothers because that was how their souls belonged together. Maybe though, if they did share DNA, Lao would look at them and see his own potential.

It wasn’t like Lao had any real connection with his biological family any more, anyway. So he’d never know. It was just strange musing. Because every day of seeing Laurent as his teacher reminded him of that admiration. And more importantly, reminded him that a biological connection didn’t mean much. He wasn’t doomed to become his mother; Laurent wasn’t anything like his uncle.

Lao had been thinking a lot of strange things since starting the play. Normally he was doing too much to think. But everybody he followed around to drown out his thoughts was busy, on stage, and sewing vines into yellow silk was the perfect way for his mind to go wherever he didn’t want it to.

Candy didn’t tackle Jon again. And after they broke the scene, he looked at Lao, grinning.

***

“So he  _ forces _ me to be in the play, and then he kicks me out for being  _ right _ ?!” Arez shouted.

“That’s not what happened,” Lao said, noticing the surprise in Athena’s eyes.

They were neighbours. Even when Lao tried to walk home alone, he usually ended up walking with them. And Luna, but he never minded Luna much.

“Were you picking on Jon again?” Athena asked.

Arez kicked a loose bit of gravel. “He deserved it.”

“I don’t think he did,” Lao said, “he’s playing a pretty despicable character.”

“Of course he is, he’s a pretty despicable character!” Arez shouted. “He and Wakka DESERVE each other!”

“Jonka OTP,” Luna whispered.

Lao wished he had no idea what Luna was saying.

“The idea is admirable,” Lao said, “I know I want to believe all racists will realise how much they suck and stop it. Not sure it's written well.”

“That's how it was in the game,” Arez whined. “And blame Crow for not adapting it properly.”

“I'm not blaming anyone,” Lao said. “I'm just saying.”

Luna left them further down the street, giving Lao a clinging hug and a kiss that left lipstick smeared on his cheek. Athena offered him a tissue as they kept walking up the hill.

“Thanks,” Lao said, wiping it off as best he could. Maybe it was lipgloss: it was sticky.

Arez declared, “It's obvious why he made me be the protagonist, I mean, I'm so…”

“Loud,” Athena said.

Lao said, “Also terrible at faking laughter.”

Athena concluded, “Seagull-esque.”

Arez cried, “Heroic!”

“You don't need to have anything in common with a character to play them or understand them,” Lao said.

“Easy for you to say!” Arez cried. He recited in a falsetto: “‘It’s embarrassing to say this myself, but minathia and jyju are kind of like dainisa’s ray of light. Dainisa depend on us. I learnt to practice smiling when I’m feeling sad.’”

“That's not like me at all!” Lao cried.

Athena snorted. “You let Luna kiss you while you cringe. That's how much it's like you.”

“That's -- what? What does that even prove?”

“If you can't say no to the small things because it makes someone else happy, how can you say no to the big things?” 

Lao frowned. “But I  _ would  _ if it were a big thing.”

“Sure, Lao. Sure.”

Maybe Arez sensed how irritated Lao was, because he stepped in with, “And I'm like Tidus because even in my dreams I tell Christian hate him.”

“Arez, don't, we’re too close to home,” Athena whispered.

“I don't care,” Arez said. 

“Move in with us,” Lao suggested, not for the first time. They’d been offering since the day they moved in next door. “Seriously. We have room.”

“Because you don’t have  _ living rooms _ ,” Arez said.

“We have one.”

“And Carmen sleeps there half the time!”

“Carmen sleeps wherever she wants.”

“Besides, Dad would sue you,” Athena said. “He sued the Jalanises for trying to take Arez back. And my family before they even thought about it.”

“It wasn’t really suing,” Arez said. “They signed over custody. No case.”

“Unless someone proves they’re not fit to look after you,” Lao said.

Athena looked at Arez hesitantly but still lied, “They’re fine.”

They always said that. No matter what Lao saw or heard, they always said that.

Christian was lurking outside when they arrived at Arez and Athena’s. He glared at Lao, eyes dragging over the skirt of his uniform as he sneered, “I thought you were a boy.”

“That’s your mistake then,” Lao replied.

“See you later Lao,” Athena prompted.

Lao didn’t move. “I’m not a girl either. So you’d better not be thinking that, human.”

“Lao,” Athena sighed, opening the gate.

Lao turned and walked far enough away to be out of sight.

“Why are you home so late,” Christian demanded.

“I told you I’m doing the play, right, Daddy?” Athena said. “Arez was just waiting for me.”

Christian was glaring at Arez. Arez’s head was bowed, his hair covering his face.

“That doesn’t sound much like either of you,” he said.

“Arez said he was studying,” Athena said. “He’s got to do that to get into ANU, right?”

“I think Arez can speak for himself, Athie. He’s loud enough as is.”

Arez said, “The English teacher is helping me ’cos I suck at literary theory.”

“Literary theory is worthless, don’t waste your time,” Christian said.

“But I gotta get top grades for everything if I’m gonna go to ANU,” Arez replied. “Call the English teacher if you don’t believe me.”

“I might do that,” Christian said.

Arez tossed back his hair as he snapped, “Can’t you ever just believe me?! I don’t lie! I’ve never lied! I’m not capable!”

“You’re lying right now, that’s how untrustworthy you are.”

Arez shoved past them. His father grabbed his arm. Arez managed to pull away. Thank the stars.

“He’s not lying Daddy,” Athena said. “When have  _ I _ ever lied to you?”

Christian believed her. His daughter the secret lesbian.

“I’m going to my room,” Arez said. He climbed up the biggest gum tree near the fence, to the treehouse, and slipped inside.

Christian and Athena simply went in the house.

Lao wondered if he ought to go up the treehouse after Arez. He’d done it plenty of times before. But he was tired, and, well… There weren’t any good excuses. Lao was tired, his head was pounding, and he’d do it later.

Nova was home. He pulled off his headphones when Lao walked past, calling out some hello Lao barely heard, and then he was right there, hand across Lao’s forehead, frowning in concern.

“I’m just tired,” Lao said, stepping away from him.

“You not sleeping again?” Nova asked.

“I slept, um, four hours.”

“Pixie. That’s not enough.”

Lao wound a hand in his hair, pulling it slightly. “I’ll sleep more now.”

“You’re gonna make yourself sick again.”

“I was worried about today,” Lao said. “I’m still worried. About Arez. Can you check on him?”

“Not when you look about five minutes away from passing out and choking on your own vomit,” Nova replied.

“That’s part of why though, the way Christian treats them makes me literally sick, and I’d feel a lot better if someone was with Arez.”

Nova frowned. “What about how I’ll feel knowing you’re here alone?”

Conveniently, that was when Carmen emerged. “I can hear you arguing, fine, I’m here, I’ll keep an eye on Lao.”

“I’ll be fine,” Lao sighed.

“You worry way too much Novie,” Carmen said. “I can see by looking at him it’s just fatigue. Stop fussing, let him sleep until dinner and he’ll be fine. He’s not made of glass.”

And in that moment, Lao appreciated Carmen so much he’d’ve married her.

Nova still fussed enough to lead Lao to his room and make sure he was settled. Carmen followed, loudly remarking how Lao was fifteen, not a baby, and anyway princesses have to be tough.

“Aniki,” Lao murmured, “I think Arez’s dad told him he can’t be in the play ’cos it’s too gay.”

“I know he did,” Nova replied. “But Aré’s doing it anyway, isn’t he?”

“He’s so good, he should be on Broadway, or at least  _ Glee _ ,” Lao said. “Why is Christian so stupid?”

“Dunno. I’ll check on Aré, you go to sleep.”

Lao said, “Take him some of the biscuits I made on Saturday.”

“Fine, but he won’t eat them, they’re too sweet for him,” Nova said. “Go to sleep.”

“I have to do something, even if it’s just that,” Lao said.

“You don’t always have to do something,” Nova said. “Stop being a little control-freak, I’m his friend too.”

Lao closed his eyes. “ _ You’re _ the control-freak, aniki. You and Nii-chan and Kez.”

Nova stood up. “We just want to protect you.”

“I know.”

Nova squeezed his shoulder. “See ya soon.”

After Nova left the room, Lao opened his eyes again. Carmen was leaning against the doorframe, eyebrows raised.

“I know,” Lao said.

Carmen smiled slightly and said, “You’ve got to stop being so doll-eyed and pathetic or they’ll baby you forever.”

“Leave me alone, I wanna sleep.”

Carmen shrugged and walked away.

Closing his eyes, Lao tried to relax. He tried not to think about how much adults sucked. How much they’d all let him down every day of his life.

And he tried not to think about how far his brothers and could-have-been boyfriend would go to protect him.

***

Rehearsals went much more smoothly after the first one. Maybe Laurent had given Arez a stern talking to, because the only disruptions came from Nicaise. Sometimes Nicaise spied, sometimes he openly mocked them. Candy always called him an ‘immature bratty loser’, which seemed to deeply offend Nicaise, maybe because it sounded like an insult from a 60-year-old.

Lao loved acting. He loved how things as simple as shifts in his tone and body language could produce such different reactions. People wanted to be moved by actresses, so they looked hard for those cues without even realising.

Singing was not so good. Lao had to sing a hymn that was garbled Japanese. Arez promised he hadn’t written it, the actually Japanese game-makers had, and it took Lao an entire night of Googling to believe it (Google, like most human inventions, was regularly a liar). It was some code, and even when it was deciphered the lyrics didn’t make much sense. Plus it was acappella, and Lao didn’t think he had the strength of voice to pull that off. Arez agreed. Laurent said he was close, and he’d get it if he kept practicing.

Laurent said that to all of them a lot.

As their princess, Lao was used to people believing in him. That, or being immediately biased against him because they hated his mother. He was used to living up to expectations, at any rate. But this was something else. Laurent never told him what he should be. It was always what he could be, based on his actual abilities. Laurent frankly told him he’d never sing at the high-note written into the big love duet, but it wasn’t devastating, it wasn’t letting anyone down, it was just, vocal cords. And Arez adjusted to cover for him and it was fine and they sounded good. It wasn’t a failure, it was a compromise based on facts. And it made the triumphs feel all the more real.

It was nice to have someone be so honest. Not coddling, not babying, not protecting his precious little feelings. Just honest, all for the sake of what Laurent did believe in. And Lao was starting to think that was him. Not Princess Torao Yamaguchi. Just him, the normal kid being smothered by a title too big.

Rehearsals quickly became the highlight of Lao’s life. The slot used to go to therapy, but Lao felt less and less like he actually needed to talk to Luci. Luci coddled him. Lao didn’t need coddling. He was a princess, not made of glass.

Even the moments the play was going wrong (mostly Jon complaining about what a worthless sack of shit his character was, or Luna throwing a tantrum about wanting to wear a corset, or Patrick struggling to deliver Jecht’s lines while frantically apologising to Arez because he looked pale in the face of an emotionally abusive father  _ for some reason _ ), Lao enjoyed it. He enjoyed watching Laurent fix everything. 

Laurent had a way of treating them as children that wasn’t the most patronising irritating cherry on top of the teen angst cake. Maybe the others didn’t appreciate it, but Lao did. He wanted every reminder that he was a kid. Even the patronising irritating ones. But especially the ones that still made him feel like a person worthy of agency, emotions and opinions.

So, it was good.

Then they brought in the stagehands. And Lao had to stop avoiding Kez because Kez was right there. Kez was friendly but distant. But him being there was distracting enough. Lao started actually trying to lose himself in the role, which wasn’t great, because he was playing a 17-year-old priestess who talked to statues so she could die for everyone’s sins.

Sometimes Lao would look at Kez and only be able to see the anger on his face that night. Terrifying anger where he’d expected calm, pragmatic solutions. He understood why. There wasn’t always a solution. There wasn’t even justice. Lao wanted to pretend there was, though. He wanted to stay a kid in spite of everything.

Lao’s favourite monologue to deliver went, ‘ _ I will live with my sorrow, I will live my own life! I will defeat sorrow. I will stand my ground and be strong. I don’t know when it will be but someday, I will conquer it. And I will do it without false hope _ .’

If a 17-year-old could say that, maybe Lao could hold onto beliefs everyone around him found naive. Maybe he could go on believing someday the world would be fair, and reaffirm his childhood belief that the privilege of being the dainisan princess was working to make the world more fair for them.

Kez lived his life according to his beliefs. He didn’t do anything he thought was wrong. Usually Lao struggled to think it was completely wrong too. And Kez was (mostly) human, so of course he saw the world differently to Lao. Lao didn’t want to force his beliefs on anyone, but he didn’t want to live surrounded by people who believed the same things as him. He wanted to live with all kinds of people. He wanted to see all kinds of things. And maybe, under all his fear, Lao understood why Kez had gone so far, and given up on so much that Lao personally believed in.

Maybe.

Lao still didn’t want to think about it enough to decide how he really felt. But somehow, faced with a silly cheesy play ripped-off from a game, and surrounded by people who all believed in it and him, he couldn’t help it.

***

Kris was painting the sets. Arez had given them a bunch of drawings, his own and actual official art from the video game, which made it easier to sketch out the sets. Lao had helped too, but Kris’ art skills were magically enhanced, so of course he was basically in charge of it all.

And of course Kris wasn’t content to simply let their months earlier argument go.

“Sorry about before,” he said, which was good, but then: “you should’ve told me earlier, though.”

“I didn’t tell you anything,” Lao replied.

“You told me enough.”

Lao ignored him.

Kris kept talking anyway. “It’s better to talk about it. You can talk to me about it. I mean, it’s not as bad as what I went through, but I won’t mind.”

Lao’s hand tightened around the paintbrush. “I’m not ready.”

“If you bring it up to win an argument, you’re ready,” Kris said. “I’m just trying to help.”

“By trying to drag me into some contest? By telling me it’s not that bad?”

“Well, it’s not  _ that _ bad,” Kris said.

Lao remembered large hands on his hips, the brush of a beard against his cheek and tickle of whispered breath in his ear.

It’s not that bad.

“It was still bad,” he whispered. “Don’t make me think, I, please…”

“Oh, come on,” Kris sighed.

Lao dropped his paintbrush. He walked away, head spinning, vision blurring, but he could recognise Laurent. Of course he could recognise Laurent. He tried to keep his voice relatively calm as he said, “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“What’s happened?” Laurent asked.

So much for that. “Nothing, I mean, something, I feel sick, that’s all.”

“Lao --”

He couldn’t even handle this. Lao stepped around him, as discreetly as possible (because imagine if  _ Arez _ or  _ Kez _ ran after him), and went to the back door. As he burst out into the sunlight, he tried to breathe deeply. It didn’t seem to work. He kept walking, quickly. People didn’t leave him alone for long. They looked at a princess who was friendly because he was a  _ princess _ and decided they were entitled to his time, his space, to touch him, to a place in his heart. Usually it didn’t bother him much, but sometimes… sometimes… he didn’t even want his brothers. He wanted silence so he could figure out what the screaming white noise in his head meant.

Of course, he didn’t make it far before someone stopped him. Damianos, Laurent’s husband.

“I’m fine,” Lao said even as his lungs tightened so much he could barely get the words out.

“Clearly not,” Damianos said. “It’s all right if you’re not, Lao, just listen: try to breathe through your nose.”

Lao clenched his mouth shut and did.

“Now breathe out through your mouth.”

He did.

“Again.”

Why was doing what he was told relaxing? Because his mother had bullied him into obedience so intense he’d barely cried as a four-year-old being tattooed on the back of the neck?

_ It’s not that bad _ rang through his mind in Kris’ voice.

Yeah, right.

Somewhere along the line, Lao’s shoulders relaxed. Damianos seemed to recognise that, or maybe it was that Lao was breathing again regardless of being told to. He smiled, and it was reassuring, and he said, “There. You don’t have to tell me what happened but I’d like to know you’ll be in safe hands.”

“I should probably go see the school therapist,” Lao replied. “I’m just. I’m tired, I’m stressed, someone was giving me a hard time, and, wait, it’s nothing to do with the play, I don’t wanna stop that, it’s, it’s, princess stuff.”

Damianos started walking him towards the building Luci’s office was in. “I’ll tell Laurent.”

“Thank you,” Lao sighed. “I don’t want anyone to worry.”

“People are going to worry whether you want them to or not,” Damianos said, “and Laurent has a certain knack for it.”

He let Lao go into the building alone. But Lao still thought, as far as being humiliatingly caught mid-panic attack went, that wasn’t so bad.

Lao went to Luci’s office and knocked. It took a moment for that familiar voice to call, “Come on in!”

Luci’s smile at the sight of him was so bright and genuine. Star-like. “Lao. It’s been a while.”

Lao sat down. “Not that long? I was here three days ago?”

“Oh, I mean, since you had a bonus session,” Luci said. “You used to come in here all the time, I’ve been feeling a little neglected.”

Lao forced himself not to frown. “Sorry. I guess, the play, and everything.”

Luci nodded. “How is that going?”

“Good. Except some of the company.”

“Oh?”

Lao clasped his hands together in his lap. He stared at them. His nail polish was chipped. “I don’t know how to live up to what everybody expects of me.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Luci said. “You should do whatever you want, even if you are a sweet little pretty princess.”

“But that’s not reality,” Lao replied. “And I want to do a good job, I want to be a good princess, it’s just hard.”

Luci said, “You make a lot of things hard.”

Lao bit his lip. “I guess. I don’t mean to, I want everything to be easy, I’m just not smart enough to pick the easy path.”

“Oh, honey, don’t worry, it’ll get easier with age.”

Lao leant back in the seat. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything.

***

That night Laurent called, an actual phone call in this decade, to check up on him. Lao knew it was Laurent only a few moments after Crow answered the phone because he gave an excited gasp and started talking a mile a minute in French.

Crow didn’t often speak French since his parents died. They’d always assumed Leon had something to do with that, but maybe it’d been -- that other one. A lot of things they’d assumed of Leon turned out to be true for him.

At least it gave Lao time to brace himself. He took the phone out to the hall and immediately said, “I’m fine. Sorry.”

“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is,” Laurent replied. “Damen told me what you asked him to.”

“There’s not much else to tell then.”

“I guess not.”

Lao supplied anyway, “High school isn’t really the best place to be a genderless princess of a nomadic magical people. Humans treat me like I’m their Q&A box, other dainisa blame me for everything the jyju’s ever done, and I wouldn’t mind so much if I had actual power.”

“You have enough power to lead a group of self-conscious teenagers to take a musical production seriously,” Laurent replied.

“That was you.”

“Not entirely.”

Lao’s face felt warm. He had to change the topic. “And, and I guess, as much as I’m glad to not be living with my mother or Leon, sometimes it’s not easy living with my brothers. I miss Crow’s parents a lot. Now the best buffer we’ve got is Carmen. She’s too agro to be a buffer though.”

Laurent was silent for a moment. Lao thought he’d said too much. Then he said, “Lao, you remember where we live, don’t you?”

“Uh. Yeah. It’s like, five minutes from school.”

“It’s not much compared to Izbuja and Daniel, but you’re welcome any time,” Laurent said.

“Thanks,” Lao said. “I’ll remember that.”

He said it intending to never even consider it an option, but it stayed in his mind, and somehow made him feel lighter.

***

Lao climbed to his feet. He looked across the stage at Arez and said, “‘I love you’.”

Arez’s direction was to walk over, meeting Lao in centre stage, and hug him. But Arez stayed frozen. Even three weeks out from opening, even after a million attempts at rehearsal.

“Come  _ on _ ,” Jon whined.

“Shut up!” Arez cried.

“We can change the stage direction, Arez,” Laurent said.

“No! I can do it! ...just not yet!”

Luna clearly said, “Bet you could do it if it were Nova.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Arez shouted.

He really didn’t.

Lao had thought it might be easier when they were in full costume, but no. The costumes had even been altered a great deal from the originals, because apparently they were ‘too revealing’. They even had wigs, if they wanted, and Lao did. He’d never been brunette before. It looked good, but he always looked good, so, no surprise.

“Arez, come on,” Lao said.

“No, stop pressuring me, that’s rude, that’s a jerk move, or so  _ you _ told me! Hypocrite!”

“No, I mean, let’s go talk about it,” Lao said.

Arez stared at him in disbelief. But it got him walking across the stage to Lao.

Lao looked at Laurent. “That’s okay, right?”

“I’m sure we can find something to rehearse with the two leads absent,” Laurent replied, a little too dryly.

Lao led Arez out of the auditorium, to the shade of a nearby tree. Arez watched him suspiciously the whole time.

“So,” Lao said, trying to be braver and more casual than he really felt. “We used to date. Is that why?”

“A bit?”

Lao reminded him, “You dumped me.”

“’Cos it  _ sucked _ ,” Arez groaned.

“Yeah, I seem to remember a period of you guilting me into not wearing what I wanted.”

“You kept wearing dresses and making me look straight,” Arez blurted, same as back then. “I thought. I don’t think that any more.”

“Good.”

Arez said, “Though, that skirt is like, the same purple as your eyes, that’s a terrible idea, it’s tacky, never wear it outside of this musical ever again.”

Lao snorted. “I look good.”

“Once Nova said,” (Arez did a perfect mimic of Nova’s voice) “‘You don’t like Lao, you thought him being nice to you was flirting but he’s nice to everyone’.”

Lao raised his eyebrows.

“I think he’s right,” Arez replied. “I got so angry when you talked to anyone. ’Cos you treated everyone the same. It was weird. I don’t like remembering it. But you were always saying you loved me.”

“To compensate for how angry I made you,” Lao explained.

“But I was angry for stupid reasons, and you ended up accidentally encouraging it,” Arez said. “It was like, you loved everyone so much you didn’t love me at all. FIne, whatever, thirteen-year-olds,  _ you _ were making us so melodramatic, throwing  _ love _ around.” 

“You did too!”

“I know! I know! I don’t like who I was when I loved you. ’Cos I knew I wasn’t good enough and it made me scared.”

“And I might’ve been mostly interested because you were interested in me,” Lao said. “And a little bit because my mother always told me I had to marry the siren if we ever found you.”

Arez rolled his eyes. “I thought you were  _ cool _ , a  _ loner _ , but you’re so not.”

“Sorry I led you on.”

Arez looked away. He started fidgeting, playing with his hair, like he was about to pull it over his face. And he blurted, “Also my dad kept shouting at me for being gay, you know that, but, but he also beat the crap out of me when he found out not about you just the gay thing in general, and I was ten, and, he’s done it a few times since too, so, maybe I’m scared to publicly hug you when I dunno how gay people are gonna think it is, he’ll think it’s gay if he finds out, and I don’t.”

Arez talked so fast he managed to get most of it out before Lao could even process what he was hearing.

“I didn’t know,” he interrupted, stupidly, pathetically. “Arez, shit.”

“That’s why I didn’t wanna do this to begin with, but I did, I wanted to do it more than I was scared, and I dunno what he’s gonna do when he finds out,” Arez said, speaking even faster. “I don’t think about it much ’cos he’s all adamant that he loves us and he’s doing it ’cos he loves us but then I think about all the horrible stuff I did to you because I loved you and it wasn’t actually love it was just trying to control you and I don’t want him to control me but he is because I’m scared and I can’t help it and I can’t think properly because I think he’s going to actually murder me over a  _ school play _ .”

“Then you have to get out of there!” Lao cried.

Arez gestured back at the auditorium. “But look at what happened with Kris! I know it’s different but, his dad was  _ so obviously the worst _ , and everyone kept blaming him! So how much are they gonna blame me, huh? Everyone already thinks I’m the worst! And you know, it was  _ illegal _ to be gay in this state until the year I was born! What the fuck! How many people will say I deserve it?  _ He’s _ already got me convinced I do, sometimes, until you or Nova or Athena, I don’t know, remind me, so, what if other people keep telling me?”

“You definitely don’t deserve it,” Lao said. “Arez, you have to get out of there. You and Athena.”

“I thought we were gonna, when Eleos found us,” Arez said quietly. “And then again, when the Riveras found us. But Eleos only wanted me, and the Riveras only wanted Athena.”

“You have to tell someone more capable than me,” Lao said. “I know it’s scary, and I’m terrified of what people will say too. But you’ll always have me as a friend, and Nova too, and, um. I guess Crow as a weird rival?”

“Frenemy,” Arez corrected.

“We’ll always remind you, you don’t deserve any of this,” Lao said. “I’ll even tell if you want. Just, please. You have to get out of there.”

“But if we move in with you, he’ll probably find out, and what if he hurts someone else? Or kills us all?”

Lao thought about the words in his mind carefully. And he still said them. “They’ve helped kill someone who seriously hurt me before. They’d do the same for you.”

Arez stared in disbelief.

“I don’t want it to come to that, obviously,” Lao replied. “But what you want matters. And that’s, a kind of justice certain people believe in. I guess.”

“Like Batman,” Arez said.

“Sure.” Lao looked away. “And I can always put half of Christian’s soul in some inanimate object.”

“Doesn’t that exhaust you?”

Lao shrugged. “The idea of you dying is a bit worse than me being a little tired.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Arez said. “And that’s  _ me _ saying that.”

“This is something to be very dramatic about, Arez.”

Arez shuffled uncomfortably. “I guess? If you’re actually threatening to kill people over it.”

Lao closed his eyes. “I don’t like it. I’m just thinking about options. Because adults suck.”

“I bet Laurent knows,” Arez said. “This whole thing is a scheme to get me to admit it.”

Lao looked at him again. “And I bet if Laurent even thought this might be going on, he’d just talk to you.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s all a complicated scheme to make me come to terms with how much Christian sucks and how dangerous he is and how hiding in a treehouse isn’t far enough away and he’ll never let me escape.”

“Whatever makes it easier for you,” Lao said. Like he hadn’t considered the same thing. But it was too stupid, too pointless, with too many risks. Laurent wasn’t stupid. Laurent wouldn’t risk anyone else’s safety on such a stupid whim.

“If I tell him, he’s winning,” Arez said.

“That’s stupid. If you tell him, worse case scenario, you end up living with your grandparents in Greece.”

Arez gasped.

“And we wouldn’t let that happen,” Lao said. “When I say we, I mean the jyju. My mother would consider you a threat to my inheritance and pull strings to keep you away from any Jalanises who could suggest you replace me.”

“I don’t want to be a princess!” Arez cried.

“You’d be a prince.”

“Urgh, I don’t want that either, it’s so cliche, and it obviously sucks.”

Lao glanced back at the auditorium, worried someone would come check on them. “I’m not gonna make you do anything.” He looked back at Arez. “But I think you should tell Laurent. He’s a lot smarter than me, not that that’s hard, but he’ll know what to do. In the meantime, you and Athena should start sneakily moving out. You can bring stuff over to our house and we’ll look after it. Then if you have to suddenly run, that’ll make it easier. And, I dunno, maybe it’ll make it easier to tell.”

Arez kicked at the ground. “I’m adopted, I’m not meant to have bad parents. I thought that only happened in the stories. It’s always the biological parents who suck in reality.”

“Some people just suck,” Lao replied.

Arez stared at him for a moment, thoughtful. Then he pulled Lao into a hug. It took Lao a few moments to realise Arez was crying. He stroked Arez’s hair carefully, humming his favourite song, until Arez pulled away muttering a mix of apologies, thanks and dismissals of how much the entire situation sucked.

***

Arez didn’t immediately tell anyone else anything. Lao expected as much. But he and Athena did start moving their most prized possessions for safe-keeping in Lao’s room. He recommended they bring it all these so they could avoid telling Nova, Crow and Carmen for a bit.

Humans often said catastrophes happened in threes. Lao tended not to believe in 90% of the bullshit humans came up with, but he could feel something was coming. There was a tension in the air that had him looking towards the sky even in daylight, as though he’d find a star to guide him without blinding him as the sun did.

Whatever it was, Lao hoped it came quickly: it was two weeks until opening and he didn’t want the musical to be the third catastrophe. Then again, better the musical than anything happening to Arez. Which was the most likely thing. Now when he couldn’t sleep, Lao took to sitting in bed, facing towards Arez’s house, eyes locked on Christian’s soul. It was such a swarm of putrid colours, it hurt to look at. He kept looking anyway.

It was going to be fine. Everything would be fine if he stayed alert and did his best to protect people.

***

Luci looked at Lao walking in with a concerned frown. “You don’t look very well, Lao.”

Lao slumped in the chair. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Why not?”

“Just, worried about stuff.”

Luci leant slightly across the desk, gently lifting Lao’s chin until their eyes met. He smiled. “Well. You still look beautiful.”

Beautiful. Pretty. Sweet. Luci called him things like that a lot. But today, while thinking about how adults suck, it rang differently in Lao’s ears.

“Why do you say that?” Lao asked. “I don’t look well, so how can I look beautiful?”

Luci chuckled. “Ah, that’s just how beautiful you are.”

Lao couldn’t speak.

“It’s a fact,” Luci said, withdrawing. “Do you want to talk about what’s worrying you?”

Lao started making shit up about the play, how he was worried it would fail, people would laugh at him, blah blah blah. It was going to be a hit. And even if it wasn’t going to be, who would dare laugh in the face of the dainisan princess who could see souls and set things aflame?

By the time the session was wrapping up, Lao thought he’d imagined the undertone. He was ready to write it off as exhaustion-based delusions. Then as he stood up, Luci did too.

“Lao,” Luci said, voice very serious, too expressive. “I’m sorry if I startled you. But you are so very beautiful, right down to your heart and soul.”

“Oh. Um. Thanks.”

Luci walked around the desk, talking all the while. “It hurts me when you hurt. That’s how deeply I care about and value you.”

Lao stepped backwards towards the door. He was too surprised to be fast enough. Luci kissed him. Luci held him in a smothering embrace (one hand tight on his hip, the other on the back of his head, so no vantage for an easy escape) and kissed him.

Lao felt tiny.

Lao felt weak.

Lao felt afraid.

Lao felt betrayed.

Lao felt too much, it clustered up his mind, it poisoned his soul, until he couldn’t even feel the spark of his magic. He wanted to draw it up and set his own skin on fire so anyone who touched him would burn.

He’d trusted Luci. He’d trusted Luci so much he ignored warning signs.

Lao felt death was too kind.

When Luci stopped kissing him, Lao jerked his head to the side, hair falling over his face.

“I’m sorry,” Luci said, letting him go. “That was wrong. I love you so much, that I…”

“Couldn’t control yourself?” Lao whispered. He turned away. Slipped his hand into his pocket. Curled it around his phone, hoping he was navigating it right from memory.

“I’m sorry,” Luci said again.

When Lao looked at Luci, he made sure there were tears in his eyes. He asked, “Why are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry I kissed you, it was inappropriate,” Luci replied. “I’ll never be sorry for loving you.”

“I’m scared,” Lao said.

“It’s because you’re so beautiful, so mature, so charming.”

Adults never called teenagers mature unless they wanted something.

“I’m not angry, I’m just, I’m worried about your job,” Lao said. “Can I go?”

“You’re too sweet,” Luci said.

Lao quickly opened the door. “Next. Next time, okay?”

He walked away before Luci could respond.

Lao tried not to think. He walked until he left the building. The sun was setting. It had to be at least 5:30, then. Crow would be home. Nova would still be at university. But last time… 

Lao pulled his phone out. It was still recording video. He stopped it. He ran further away from the school, into the bush, pulling his headphones from his pocket. He played it back. It was there. He cropped it. He didn’t want it to include how pathetic he looked.

Lao tried not to think. He had to think. He had to figure out what to do. But he didn’t want to think. He wanted to rewind to an hour ago and decide to just skip the session. Then what, though? Longer for Luci to talk him into liking him. Trusting him. Maybe until Lao was too invested and guilt-driven to even think ‘no, I don’t want this’.

How did anyone think they had the right to touch him?

How did an  _ adult _ think they had the right to  _ kiss _ him?

How different would it have been if Lao didn’t have those other memories, of someone he knew and always hated, whispering the same damn things?

Lao started to run.

It wasn’t far. He wished it was further. Even though he was breathless as he stumbled up to the front door, banging on it with his phone-clutching fist.

Damianos opened the door. Of course. “Lao? What’s --”

“I need help, I don’t know who else to ask, I don’t want my brothers to react like last time,” Lao blurted.

“Tell me the rest inside,” Damianos said.

It was a nicer house inside. Lao hadn’t been before. He found it difficult to stop staring at a painting on the wall, yet he had no idea what the painting actually was. Damianos led him to the living room, to a couch, and Lao collapsed back on it without having to be asked. It took him a moment to realise Laurent was there, putting away a book, talking to him.

“Luci kissed me,” Lao said. “As in, the school therapist.”

Silence. Ringing silence.

“You’re probably going into shock,” Damianos said. “I’ll make you something hot to drink.”

“He did,” Lao said, frantic. “I’m not lying. I trusted him. And he did that to me.”

“I believe you,” Damianos said. “We both do. Right?”

“Yes,” Laurent said.

“It’s a safety thing,” Damianos added. “What do you like?”

Lao mumbled, “Not tea. I hate tea. Everyone gives me tea ’cos I’m Japanese. Anything but tea.”

“Got it,” Damianos said. Lao had kind of expected him to laugh. It was a weird thing to say, but Lao still meant it, so he was grateful it was taken seriously. “I’ll be a minute.”

He left the room. Lao buried his face in his hands.

“I trusted him,” Lao said. “I thought he cared about me. He says he does. But if he did, he wouldn’t ever touch me, right?”

“That’s right,” Laurent replied.

Suddenly he could feel the tears on his cheek like they were ice. He rubbed at them but they just kept coming. “I should’ve known, I should’ve figured it out, I should’ve known better, I shouldn’t’ve trusted him, I should’ve left as soon as he started sounding weird, but I didn’t, and I didn’t even say I hated it, and I’m scared to tell my brothers, I’m so, so, damn stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Laurent said.

Lao was so overwhelmed by the obvious, thoughtless lie he couldn’t speak. He stared, eyebrows raised, hoping his expression conveyed what he wanted to say: Look at me. I can’t think, let alone think properly.

“You aren’t,” Laurent said again, more firmly.

It wasn’t pity, and that was the weird thing. He meant it. He said it was some reality everyone knew, and he couldn’t believe Lao didn’t know it too.

Before he could stop himself Lao murmured, “Nobody’s ever said that to me before.”

Laurent was looking at him so strangely. “You’re here telling someone immediately. That’s the least stupid reaction I can imagine.”

He didn’t know enough to realise how wrong he was.

Damianos returned. He gave Lao a mug of hot chocolate, then set another that smelt strongly of coffee down near Laurent. He sat down, next to Lao, but not too close.

Lao did feel a bit better after taking the first sip. Less shaky.

Laurent said, “Tell us as much as you’re comfortable.”

Lao showed them the recording. He told them what Luci said. What he did. Damianos barely knew him, and yet he looked ready to murder. That threw him off track a bit.

“I can’t tell my brothers,” Lao found himself spontaneously saying. “Last time, last time I told them, and, someone else. And they didn’t… react well.”

“Last time,” Laurent said.

“Not Luci,” Lao said quickly. He stared into the half-empty mug. “I… I was thirteen, almost fourteen. Last time. I don’t know how you’d react. I don’t think it matters any more.”

“Tell me,” Laurent said.

“If you want,” Damianos added. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Lao closed his eyes. “Your uncle.”

“Laurent,” Damianos said.

“He didn’t really do anything,” Lao quickly added. “He tried, but I set him on fire, a bit. His hands. Then I told my brothers, and, um. Someone else. And that’s why he’s dead.”

Laurent slowly said, “I wondered.”

Lao looked up. He had no idea what the expression on Laurent’s face meant. “I didn’t have proof. And it was around the same time Kris was going through the trial, and, so, I was too scared to tell anyone, even though I thought he might be hurting someone else, and, I didn’t think fast enough, so. That’s why he’s dead. I wanted justice. I didn’t want him to die.”

Laurent replied, “I would’ve.”

Damianos said, “He didn’t deserve to live.”

Laurent said, “His victims deserve some justice. Any justice. This is a kind.”

“But  _ he  _ deserved to be dragged through the mud and hated by everyone,” Lao said. “Except they did that to Kris, sort of. I knew they’d do it to me. Especially because so many people look at me and see a girl. And this would be the same. I’m scared enough, I don’t deserve that too.”

Laurent said, “There aren’t any easy answers. Or any fair ones.”

“I know,” Lao said. “But I have proof this time. And I’m not scared of what they’ll say about me as much as I’m scared of what Luci will do.”

“Are you saying you want to report it to the police?” Laurent asked.

Lao nodded. “I don’t want people to be able to say Luci was a good person when he dies. I want them to know what he tried to do to me.”

“Then we’ll make it happen,” Laurent said. “But only as far as you’re comfortable.”

Lao said, “Thank you.”

***

When he told them, Nova punched a wall, Crow growled to hide his tears, and in the background, Carmen looked up from her magazine with a, “What? Again?”

Lao had thought that, too. He knew it wasn’t his fault. But part of him wondered, what was it about him that made people think they could treat him how they did? From the admirers touching him and demanding his time, to the haters shouting at him, to the adults trying to fuck him. Why did people keep trying to make him their victim?

“I told Laurent, and his husband, who’s actually pretty cool by the way, I thought he was a loser but he’s not, anyway they took me to the police station, it’s being handled,” Lao said. “So you don’t have to worry.”

“You’re our brother, of course we’re going to worry, we love you and we want you to be okay!” Crow cried.

Lao pulled Crow into a hug.

“Lao,” Crow said softly.

“Thank you for worrying,” Lao said. “But this time, don’t worry about fixing anything. Worry about keeping me strong. Deal?”

Crow was smiling. Lao didn’t need to look at him to know it. “Deal.”

“Y’know you babble when you’re nervous?” Nova asked.

Lao looked over at him, shaking his head.

“You do, but you get the point across,” Nova said. “You’re gonna be a pretty amazing minathia someday, Pixie.”

“Thanks,” Lao said, face feeling warm, but in a good way for once. “I’ve gotta be a good witness first, though.”

“You will be, you’re too brave not to,” Nova replied.

“Oh, my god, I hate this family,” Carmen groaned, stomping from the room.

“When will she embrace the power of love,” Crow sighed.

Lao closed his eyes. For the first time since he was thirteen-almost-fourteen, he felt safe.

***

Thinking it might encourage them, Lao pretty immediately told Arez and Athena what happened. They were sitting in a circle on the floor of Arez’s treehouse, solemn and bitter.

“I don’t want to tell the police,” Arez suddenly said.

“Arez, this isn’t about us,” Athena hissed.

“It is a little,” Lao admitted.

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks of Christian, I just don’t wanna be anywhere near him,” Arez said. “And also I need a clean reputation for when I run away to L.A. to become a pop star.”

“Two more years,” Athena said.

“More like one and a bit.”

Lao shrugged. “Okay. That’s your choice. I still think you should tell someone.”

“The school newsletters are advertising the musical a lot,” Athena said quietly. “Dad’s been asking me why they haven’t gotten one for a while.”

Arez stopped talking.

Lao didn’t understand it. He wished he’d been there when Luci was arrested, so he could wave goodbye in the most passive-aggressive way possible.

But Lao was learning he didn’t always have to understand people. He just had to try while going after his own goals. Nobody else was his responsibility, not yet.

Laurent had suggested Lao might be too stressed to continue with the play. Lao had adamantly insisted, “It’s no pressure or stress. I really love it. I want to do this.”

And that was good enough, because Laurent always listened.

Three days to go.

Spontaneously, in the middle of a lunchtime conversation about some video game (that was mostly Luna, Kez and Athena), Arez declared, “I gotta go talk to Laurent!”

Athena’s eyes widened. She slid out of her seat.

“Do you want me to come?” Lao asked.

Arez shook his head. “You’re  _ distracting _ .”

And that was that. They were walking off.

“Well, that was needlessly dramatic,” Luna said.

Luna left them to go to her Chemistry class. Lao and Kez were supposed to go to Art, but Lao grabbed Kez’s arm and dragged him into the nearest supply closet.

“Uh,” Kez said. “That’s. Uh. What.”

“You’re gonna hear a lot of rumours soon, I think,” Lao said. “About Arez’s dad. And, and after last time, I need you to promise me you’re not going to go full demon and kill him.”

“Okay, fine.” Kez actually sounded confused. “Is Arez okay?”

“Okay-ish. He’ll be fine once he can leave his parents’ place.”

“Relatable,” Kez said.

Lao’s expression softened entirely against his will. “Your dad isn’t making you see him again, is he? Because if he is, you can bring me, and I’ll piss him off some more.”

“No, I’m fine,” Kez replied. “Except for how shitty all the adults in our damn lives are.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing,” Lao admitted. “But, they’re not all horrible. Even if it’s sometimes hard to tell. And, we’ve got each other, right? When it really matters?”

“It shouldn’t’ve to come to that,” Kez said.

“But it has, so we have to deal with it.”

Kez was looking at him strangely.

“I wish you hadn’t done it,” Lao said. “I know I didn’t have enough evidence, he would’ve gotten away with it, not even my mother would’ve believed it, I know they all would’ve dragged me through the dirt to defend a disgusting old man. I know I’m safer like this, and probably a lot of other people are too, and I know it’s probably the closest thing to justice I’d ever get. But I still think, he’s dead because of me. Someone’s dead because of me. And I don’t like that.”

“It’s not really because of you,” Kez replied. “It’s because I looked at a monster and decided he didn’t deserve to live any longer.”

“I know that, too.” Lao laughed. “Oh, I don’t know anything at all, I’m still so confused.”

“I wouldn’t’ve done it if I’d known you’d be upset,” Kez said. “But I would’ve done it if it anyone else were the victim. The fact that it was you just made me extra angry. I guess.”

“How many other times have you done this?”

“Just once.”

“I can’t even think it’s wrong,” Lao said. “Not entirely, anyway.”

Kez shrugged. “I’m never gonna regret it.”

“And I’m never gonna hate you for it,” Lao replied.

“I know.”

“I know you know, I like to say it anyway.”

Kez was definitely rolling his eyes. “And you accuse Arez of liking the sound of his own voice.”

“Shut up, it’s better safe than sorry.”

“That we agree on.”

Lao smiled. He’d been scared, obviously, but Kez was still the same person he knew. It was just he knew more about him, and the extra stuff he knew was kind of worrying. But that wasn’t all there was to Kez. And anyway, Lao was good at worrying about people.

“There’s something else I want to tell you,” Lao said. “You know Luci, the school therapist?”

Kez hesitated. “Yeah, yeah I know him.”

“He kissed me and told me he loves me. So that’s why he was arrested.” Pause. “Don’t kill him.”

“I couldn’t kill him,” Kez replied. “Lao. D’ya know what Luci’s short for?”

“No, I never asked.”

“Lucifer.”

Lao frowned. “That name sounds familiar? I’m not sure where I’ve heard it before.”

“Satan,” Kez clarified. “He’s the literal fucking devil.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“It might be stupid to ask, but, how do you know?”

“I’m a  _ demon _ , we all know,” Kez replied. “He said he can’t leave his cell, but he does all the time, but the principal’s a fuckin’ angel, so I figured, what harm can he do. Fucking hell.”

Lao found this much easier to process than anything else he’d heard lately. “So, what, he was trying to get close to me for my power?”

“Specifically your magic, I’d guess,” Kez replied. “He doesn’t have any of his own anymore.”

Lao sighed. “So I’m not so beautiful I’d drive a grown man to raping a child.”

“What the fuck, Lao!”

“That’s what he said! I’m not being serious.”

“You  _ should _ be serious about this!”

“He’s almost definitely going to jail,” Lao replied. “Hell is a jail, you said, right? So he’ll be in double-jail?”

Now Kez was glaring. “You’re way too amused by this.”

“I can be amused and take it seriously.”

“Really, Princess? Really?”

Lao said, “This makes it easier. I’ll be prepared for the ‘literal fucking devil’ next time he tries. And maybe I’ll cope better with the whole being betrayed by someone I thought I could trust, knowing there was more to it than having sex with me.”

Kez dryly asked, “Everything’s going to be all right?”

“Everything’s going to be all right,” Lao confirmed.

“God, I love you,” Kez sighed.

“Then maybe you should accidentally hire Him as a therapist.”

Kez shoved him slightly. Lao grabbed his hand and pulled Kez out from the closet again.

“Let’s go wait for Arez and Athena.”

He wasn’t ready for love yet, but Lao didn’t let go of Kez’s hand until they were sitting on a bench outside together.

Arez and Athena came by an hour later. Arez looked pale, but he smiled at the sight of them.

So it was going to be all right.

“What’s happening?” Lao asked.

“I told him I didn’t want a whole dramatic arrest thing like you did and he thought about it for like five seconds then had this plan which is actually amazing,” Arez said.

“Blackmail might be involved,” Athena said.

“But it’s amazing!” Arez insisted. “And I don’t care and you don’t care  _ much _ so whatever, there’s no way it can’t work, so, you know.”

Athena contributed, “And the fact that Damianos is Arez’s cousin is probably going to help.”

“Good,” Lao said. “I’m glad.”

Arez announced, “Lao, you’re really annoying most of the time, okay pretty much all the time, but I’m glad because you annoyed me into this. So thanks. I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Stop flattering me, anyone would’ve done it,” Lao replied.

“Nobody else did, don’t make me say it, okay fine I’ll say it, we’re cowards and you’re too much of a spoilt princess to be a coward and it’s actually a good thing,” Arez said. “Now take a damn compliment, don’t you realise how much my praise is worth.”

“I’d rather you praise my singing.”

“Your singing is  _ average _ , earn it in the musical,  _ make the audience cry and I will praise you _ .”

“Yeah, Aré, because aiming to make people cry is so good,” Kez snorted.

It took Arez three tries to flip his hair just right to smack Kez in the face. He pretended as though he’d gotten it first try and laughed, “Demonise  _ that _ .”

***

The day before opening. The cast had the whole day off to do a couple of dress rehearsals. Lao got there especially early, wanting to spend as long as he could with the production.

He got his costume and went to the bathroom to change. And there, sitting on a basin, was Nicaise.

“Uh. Hi?”

Nicaise was looking at him strangely. “I heard you the other day. At Laurent’s.”

“Oh.” Lao distracted himself with his wig-cap. “Why were you there?”

“I don’t try to advertise the fact that I live with them,” Nicaise replied. “How old are you again?”

“Fifteen.”

“So, about eighteen months ago, huh?”

“I guess,” Lao replied. “I never really counted.”

Nicaise watched him putting on the wig. “Wow. That’s really not your colour.”

“I look fine,” Lao said.

“Not really beautiful enough to risk prison in order to fuck, though,” Nicaise replied.

Lao turned to him. “What are you trying to say? That I’m a liar?”

“No, I believe you.”

“Then what?”

Nicaise didn’t look away, but he looked vulnerable all the same. “Did you know the jyju used to buy kids from common dainisa in the area?”

“Yes,” Lao said. “Frida Garforte made it illegal in 1973 but they still get away with it sometimes. My mother isn’t strict enough about it.”

“Oh, I know,” Nicaise replied. “That’s how  _ he _ got me. Told my parents it was because of my magical potential, like that mattered, they were desperate for money. Then he told me I was too beautiful to resist fucking.”

Lao didn’t know what to say.

“From when I was ten,” Nicaise continued. “Up until he was murdered. I didn’t know why. Now I know it’s because of you.”

“The person who actually killed him has made it really clear to me that he’d kill anyone who rapes kids.”

“What is that vigilante bullshit.”

Lao shrugged. “White guy who plays too many video games.”

“Oh, Kez Cooper. Huh, I wouldn’t’ve guessed that.”

Lao frowned. “How did you --?”

“He’s the only white guy you regularly hang out with who plays video games,” Nicaise said. “Arez made it quite clear he isn’t the video game type during this little musical production.”

“I guess.”

Nicaise mused, “Maybe I should send Cooper a thank you card.”

“If you want?”

Nicaise looked at him, directly in the eyes. “And you. You told.”

Lao flushed. “Well… I didn’t really know him. He couldn’t do anything to me if I did tell. So I did.”

“There were others before me, you know,” Nicaise said. “He always said I was different. Special. I believed it to a point. Not much of one, but enough to think for those years, I was the only one. Like maybe he actually fell in love with little boys until we got too old, some Nabokov bullshit.”

Shit. What could even be said to that.

“Kinda fucked up, but I’m glad to know I wasn’t,” Nicaise said. “Makes it easier to hate the narcissistic fuckwit.”

“Then I’m glad you eavesdropped,” Lao replied.

“Urgh, you’re just, sweet as pie, aren’t you.”

Lao laughed. “I’m a princess, aren’t I.”

Nicaise rolled his eyes repeatedly as he walked off.

***

Dress rehearsal went perfectly, except for a moment where one of the monsters Lao’s character summoned fell off the strings and almost crushed Loki.

“I will not be defeated by the likes of you, Bahamut!” Loki shrieked. “Sorrow! Sorrow! Sin! Hope! Fuck! Guys!”

“We’ll need to use stronger ropes,” Laurent concluded.

So, life was pretty normal despite everything. That was equal parts terrifying and comforting.

***

Opening night. Okay, it was five in the afternoon, but ‘opening night’ had such a loaded professional feel to it that made Lao feel a little less ridiculous about looking into the National Institute of Dramatic Arts because of one stupid little cheesy school play. That was also amazing, in ways that made him feel strong enough to deal with the world as it was.

Laurent caught his eye. “Are you ready?”

Smiling, Lao nodded.

**Author's Note:**

> there was a lot i wanted to say while writing this but now i can't remember any of it!
> 
> so i guess the most important thing is: jord guttorm is norwegian for 'dirt worm boy'.


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